Race Day

Today is race day and I'm ready to get after it.

Last night was the final night of training before the race today.  If I'm honest with you all and with myself, it was the worst training day I've had in a long time.  I got absolutely destroyed last night.  The first time down the hill I tried to do some new things with my driving to increase my speed and while I was happy with my times down the hill, I took a really, really, good beating.  The second time I was so freaked out from the first time that I was all fidgety and out of control in my driving and so it was just as bad, if not worse, than the first one.  I'll spare you the technical details but lets just say I broke the armor plating off of the motorcycle gloves my friend Chad loaned me.  He almost certainly saved me from breaking my hand last night.  I'm going to change the handles on my sled when I get home to tuck my hands in under my legs as much as possible, because I don't think they can take too many more nights like last night.

Somehow today though, none of that matters.  Right now, I would be lying if I said I wasn't in a lot of pain.  I am.  I hate this track with a passion at this point and I'm definitely a little scared.  I haven't had that sense of fear in me while doing Skeleton since the last time I was on this track for my initial Skeleton school in 2007.  Even with all of that though I can already feel that my mind, my body, is preparing for tonight.  Maybe this is a little conceited, but I'm such a fierce competitor that I'm not going to let some bruising on my arms and hands keep me from competing to the best of my ability.

That's what I came here for and that is what I'm going to do.

Two nights ago my training sessions went great.  I didn't hit anything and had some really good runs.  The problem is that I'm dragging my feet to do so (think rudders on a boat) and that is slower than just using my shoulders, knees, and head and not touching the ice like using my feet does.  I really want to break myself out of this habit because it will hold me back from developing into the best slider I can be.

There will be time to work on that in the future though.  Tonight the game plan is just to do what comes naturally right now and be relaxed.  My best downtime so far was when I was just relaxed, didn't over-think what I was doing, and just let my instincts take over.  That's what I'm going to do tonight come what may.

Chana implored me to make this post upbeat, since she knows how hurt I am right now and she can hear sadness in my voice (which is true but there is also just a lot of pain thrown in there).  Maybe you think me telling you that I'm a little scared is being negative.  It's really not though -- I'm just being honest.  Skeleton is an intense sport and just like any other game or sport, you have to take your lumps at the beginning.  It's just that taking your lumps in this sport means repeatedly crashing into a wall at 77mph.

The truth is that I am actually very happy with how this training week went.  Lots of positive things have come out of this week:

1)  I feel what is happening to me on the track better than I ever have
2) I am able to control my sled better than I ever have before (I just need to use my toes)
3) My push times were competitive
4) My downtimes were not close to being the slowest of those competing this week
5) I didn't explode into a fiery ball of swear words after my second run last night, even if I started to tear up from holding all the emotion down.  I didn't embarrass myself though and I'm thankful for that (like I knew I would be)

So it really hasn't been a bad week.  I'm not careening down the hill going "why am I getting so beat up?"  I understand what is happening to me now even as I'm going 77mph up and down a wall parallel to the earth.  I mean, I think that is something to be proud of and it's something that I have worked hard to achieve.  What I haven't figured out yet is what to DO with my understanding of what is happening to me.  And ultimately what I'm really upset about this morning is not the hurt -- it's that the way I have settled on controlling it -- dragging my toes -- is slower than being able to use my shoulders and knees effectively.

And that brings me full circle.  Even as I am here in pain and with a little bit of the fear in me for the first time in a long time, what is really upsetting me at bottom is that I haven't figured out yet how to drive without my toes.  I'm not negative about my ability, I know I can get down this course just fine -- I did it two nights ago twice -- and so that isn't an issue.  The negativity comes from learning the painful lesson last night that in order to do it I still have to bleed time where a more competent slider would not.  I hate hate hate having to do that.  Truth be told if you look at it in a vacuum, right now dragging my toe is going to be faster than transferring all my energy into the exit of 6 anyway.  I know though that it is not as fast as I COULD go and that just pisses me off.  It's not the pain that is upsetting me, it's the remedy.  That's the competitor in me.  That's the positive story for today.

So the bottom line is that tonight is go time.  I'm not expecting to win anything but I'm not expecting to be unable to catch a few people either.  I'm a competitor, and I came here to compete.  Yes, I'm in pain and yes, I have a little bit of the fear in me on this track.  That only matters though right now sitting on the couch thinking about it.  Once I push off the block it will be me, my sled, the ice, and the timer.  Nothing else will matter.  I can sense that in myself already.

I'm going to do my damnedest to get down that hill tonight the fastest way I know how.

I can't think of anything more positive than that.

The race is at approximately 9PM EST.

Catch you at the bottom of the hill -

Bradley