They say that smell is the sense that is the most intense at jogging memory. Perhaps that is true, but when it comes to Skeleton the sense that is most ingrained in me is definitely sound. Before you go off from the top for the start of a run you have to wait for the "all-clear" from the tower. Once the "all-clear" is given it means that the track is empty from top to bottom and safe for you to go down at 80mph. The "all-clear" is given two ways, visually and by sound. The sound queue is "The track is clear from the finish to start one..." and then there is a "bing-bong" sound before a light in front of you turns from red to green. This little sequence of sound and light is the way that I know I am about to go down the track. When I train in the summer time on the track, I vividly play this sound in my head before I take off. It's the point at which all other considerations melt away and it's just me, my sled, the ice and gravity.
I have been waiting for three days to hear that sequence on this track. Today, I finally got my wish and ran it off the top of the hill with hasty abandon. They drove me up to the top of the hill all by my lonesome, as I was the only one from the Skeleton school that wanted to take two runs from the top. So for awhile at the top it was just me, myself, and I. It was kinda eerie because I am used to so much commotion of people warming up, talking, etc. in the start house before I take a run. Today though, for one time only, I got to be alone with my thoughts.
I honestly expected to be more nervous than I actually was. I learned on this track and I remember it being so fast and getting hit so hard coming out of the two big curves (6 and 12) that my arms were literally purple for 6-10 weeks. Standing at the top today though, I felt calm and relaxed. I was focused as I said yesterday on being calmer on my sled and keeping my head down. I really wanted that to be the focus for the day, because those two things are essential to doing well in the sport.
So as I warmed up on the top of the hill I just tried to stay relaxed. Some people like to get really jakked up and excited before they take a run. Not me. I actually listen to classical music before I go down the hill. I find that it makes me calm and focused, as opposed to having my head fill with heavily metal death rock. This improves my concentration and focus, even at the start where I am running as fast as I can. It's what works for me.
So I warmed up and eventually it was my turn to run it off the top. I went to the line and felt calm. I rocked the sled back and forth a few times (1...2...3....gooooooo) and gave it a big shove forward and off I went. My big focus for the day was to keep my head down, and so initially I just stared straight down at the ice. I didn't even see myself get into the first curve. I went through curves 1/2/3 pretty much without looking forwards once. I then started my driving when I got into curve 4, which is a long sweeping downhill left-hand turn.
I will do a detailed version of what I am thinking as I go down the track during another post. For today, sufficed to say that the theme for the day was "I hate double-oscillation curves." There really is no nice way to say it, so I'll just put it out there that I absolutely sucked in curves 6 and 12 today. These types of curves do not exist in Lake Placid, and so I am not familiar with them. I missed basically ever steer and although I understand that I did (even in real-time) that didn't stop me from careening into the walls out of each. I hit out of 12 so hard that I damn near broke my hand. My hand is all swollen and cut, but not broken and actually feels a lot better now than it did two hours ago. It's never a good sign when your friends come back to you after walking the track and say "Yeah, we saw your blood in the wall out of curve 12."
Owwwww.
Tomorrow I am going to wear armored motorcycle gloves which I am taking on loan from my friend Chad who I am staying with. I also talked with one of the USA coaches about how I could hold onto my sled differently so that my hands aren't hanging so far off of my sled. In any event, you won't be surprised that I was more pissed at myself for having hit the wall so hard than what the wall did to my hand. I am really not happy with myself right now. So far this whole season has just been slow. I feel like I have so much more knowledge and understanding of what I am doing, and yet it is not translating into faster times.
In fact, the opposite is occurring. My friends are telling me not to worry about it, that the year is early, and that I have plenty of time to get more comfortable. I listen to them but I don't hear them, and consequently I find myself getting more and more agitated about my sliding, which is only going to make things worse. It's kinda like being in a batting slump. Hopefully I will have that breakout run at some point where I really feel good and gain some confidence. For now though, I'm just pissed off at myself. I'm always my own worse critic. It's funny because they say that you need to have competition on a team to keep someone motivated. That is definitely not true for me though. I don't need to be threatened with being taken off of the ice to be motivated. My biggest competition is always myself. I want to go fast this year. I will go fast this year.
So right now I am consumed with thoughts of what the F*** is going wrong with me. I'm afraid off falling into that trap where I have so many moving parts that I don't know which was is up and the whole thing becomes just hopeless. My form, my sled, my driving, my relaxation -- none of these feel good right now. At the end of last year, when I had my best runs ever, they all felt great. I was in perfect harmony with myself and my equipment. Right now, nothing feels good and everything just feels like it is all over the map.
I'm going to have to snap out of it quick though, because I need to go racing next week.
So to sum it up, it was fun to go off from the top today finally. I feel the track a lot more than I ever have but I still don't know what to do with what I am feeling, even if I understand it in my head. It's the difference between theory and practice. I did have better form today, and that was for sure a positive. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Thanks again all for the amazing support. You guys are incredible.
See you at the bottom of the hill--
Bradley
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