The first race of the 2010/2011 season

Today was a frustrating day.

After an entire off-season of diet changes, workout tweaks, equipment purchases and logistical planning the first race of the season finally arrived today. Although I qualified Israel for her first ever FIBT World Cup spot, I decided to start the year off racing on the Americas Cup circuit, which is one of the qualification circuits for the World Cup. This circuit kicked off it's season in Park City, Utah. I did this for a few reasons, not the least of which is that I am chasing Israel's first ever medal in the Skeleton, and this is where I have the best shot at it.

So I was really disappointed today when I only took a tie for 10th out of 21 competitors. Really, there are so many reasons to be encouraged by that result. For starters, I managed to achieve it despite the fact that I missed the first day of training here due to a logistical malfunction, so today was only my 5th and 6th runs down the track here this season. Some of the other athletes had been training all last week in addition to a full training week this week. Second, other than the US and Canadian teams I only lost to two other sliders, which means vis-a-vis the rest of the world I didn't do so badly. Third, my first run was a personal best by an entire second on this track, and marked a 3 second improvement in 3 days and 5 runs. Fourth, my coach used the words "too controlled" to describe my driving this week. Although not intended as a compliment it made me happy because it validated that my awareness on my sled as well as my ability to drive has vastly improved over last year. Finally, I improved 8 spots I think over last season when I did this race.

Ultimately, I only missed a medal by a few tenths of a second on each run. However, I had the same thing happen to me last season in Lake Placid, where I took 7th by .2 seconds (top 6 get medals). Also, "a few tenths of a second on each run" is the name of the game in Skeleton. And so I'm very frustrated. I'm also exhausted, because I gave it my all.

I definitely think I psyched myself out a little, unfortunately. My first run was a whole second faster and yet only good enough for 10th, even though I was only .23 seconds out of 8th. At that point I felt like my best was not good enough, and it was of course all downhill from there. My second run was significantly worse. I mistimed my warm up, so i was a little stiff off the block and made three key driving errors in big spots on the track. Game over.

Skeleton can be such a frustrating sport for the same reason it is exhilarating. There is so little room for error. Although this is only my second full season, I expect myself to be able to ride that edge and today on my second run I failed to do that. I don't know if I'm more upset with the first run, where my virtual best wasn't good enough, or the second run where I let my frustrations get the better of me. Neither one feels very good though, I'm sure of that.

All I can do is keep improving, of course. It's still hard though when you are a competitive person and have never won any hardware. I struggle sometimes to keep my athletic purpose, and have to rely extra heavily on my my desire to represent Israel as well as I can to keep me going. I've now missed out on winning something by a few tenths of a second no less than three times in three straight seasons. For any competitive person, that can start to stick in your brain and get frustrating. You start to second guess yourself and your abilities. I'm desperately trying not to, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't right now.

Tomorrow is another race and another chance to find those few tenths of a second of such angst. My legs are genuinely exhausted after today, but it's another day to go out and chase that elusive first medal for myself and for Israel. I will give it my best as always. I'm just waiting for that day when my best will be good enough to finish where I want to be an not just for moral victories. I have a lot to be proud of this week and overall, but I guess no truly competitive person is ever happy until they achieve their goals. Mine remains un-accomplished and so my competitive side will not let me be content with "close" despite some of the positive things to take away from today.

Congratulations to all who raced today and to those who won medals. It was a close race and I made sure to shake hands afterwards with those I saw who raced. I will do the same at the award ceremony tomorrow. There is never an excuse for poor sportsmanship and it would be beneath myself and Israel.

I will keep striving for improvements, day in and day out, as always. No matter how frustrating it gets, that will always be my goal as long as I'm sliding because that's who I am and that's how I roll when I'm determined to do something. And I'm determined to do this, even if it hurts right now.

Tomorrow is another race, and another chance for a breakout session. I'm going to do all I can to get there and won't let up. You can't quit on things just bc they didn't go your way that day. I can't thank everyone enough for all the kind words and support. They truly mean the world to me. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I will let you all know how it goes tomorrow. And you can always follow on twitter: @TeamIsraelSkele

-Bradley